Out of the Pit

I'm teaching Sunday school this Sunday. It's a lesson we all need so desperately that this will actually be the second time I've taught it. We had so much to talk about the first time that I didn't get to finish. The subject? Trusting God. Every time I think I'm doing well with that, God opens my eyes to see some area of my life I haven't yet surrendered.

As I reflect on yestereday's devotion , I'm a little surprised at myself. How do I keep falling back into that awful pit of regret? Why do I continue to feel shame and sorrow over sins that are already under the blood? I realized as I thought about it all that while I 've been trusting God with so many other things - my daughter's health, my marriage, my relationship with Rey and Brianna, etc. - I was not trusting Him with my shame. I was holding on to it still, keeping it shoved down and hidden in a quiet little corner of  my heart. That's a bad place to keep things, you see, because "the heart is deceitful above all things." (Jeremiah 17:9) It tells me all kinds of lies about myself.

The longer I kept that shame hidden away, the bigger it grew. Like mold or mildew, it flourished in dark places that were wet with tears. Even years after my divorce was final, I have still felt the need very recently to explain the circumstances when I casually mentioned to someone that I was remarried.  The accuser is obviously busy at work on my behalf (Revelation 12:10), and I have given him lots of ammunition to use against me. My desire to explain myself is proof of that.

BUT GOD SAYS that at this point, no explanation is necessary, because "if anyone [including me] is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17) Thank You, Lord!! My past sins, even if the consequences still remain, do not define me any longer. Though my sins soaked me through and through as crimson, they are now white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18)  And "godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." (2 Corinthians 7:10) Did you catch that? Godly sorrow leaves NO regret! This is just the bit of wisdom I needed to pull me out of that pit . I must learn to mourn in a godly manner rather than beating myself to death over something that's already been forgiven. My God is more than able to make something so beautiful out of the consequence of my sin that my thanksgiving for the blessing will overtake my sorrow. After all, "we know that in all things [even my worst mistakes] God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Have you fallen into a pit of regret? Look to the Lord. His arm is always long enough to pull you out.

Father, thank You that you lifted me out of my slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. Thank you for setting my feet on the Rock and giving me a firm place to stand. (Psalm 40:2) Teach me how to mourn my mistakes only as one who has been redeemed, and save me from the shame that always threatens to choke Your life out of me. Thank You, Jesus, for setting me free!!

In His merciful love,

Amy

copyright 2010, Amy Wallace