Just Follow Me

When I walked into church Sunday morning, every facet of my being was completely exhausted. I was feeling angry, confused, impatient, and physically tired. My week had not gone at all as I had expected, and with my daughter experiencing unbelievable numbers of partial seizures during the days, even in my sleep, I was listening out for any unusual sounds. It was hard to get out of bed in the mornings. I felt as though I could never make it through another day. By the time Sunday came, I was empty, and I didn't know how I was going to do everything that needed doing that day.

After the praise team practiced, my spirits were lifting, but I still felt so tired I could have  stretched out on the altar and fallen asleep right then and there. As the choir members took their places and we began to practice our song, Sandra, our choir director and Pastor's wife, walked over to the sopranos and gave us some instruction. She stood right in front of me, keeping time with her experienced hands, her rhythm strong and steady. As I sang about God's perfect timing, I suddenly had an overwhelming feeling of relief that - at least in that moment - someone else was in control. I didn't have to keep everything going. I didn't have to make any decisions. I didn't even have to be strong! I just had to follow her lead. I cannot describe the wave of gratitude that washed over me at that moment!

Being a mom to a sick child is a difficult job. There are so many decisions that need to be made, so many uncertain moments, so much required of you. It can happen suddenly, with no warning at all. One day, your kid is healthy. The next day, they're not. Moms really have to learn how to roll with the punches. If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know that, as a chronic planner, I struggle to go with the flow.

But Christ said simply, "Follow me!" (Matthew 4:19, 8:22, 9:9, 10:38, 16:24, 19:21, 19:28 Mark 1:17, 2:14, 8:34, 10:21 Luke 5:27, 9:23, 9:59, 14:27, 18:22 John 1:43, 8:12, 10:27, 12:26, 13:36, 21:19, 21:22)

Do you know what He taught me in that moment? I don't have to figure out the flow if I'm following Him. He is the one who's in control, leading me and  guiding me with experienced, strong, nail scarred hands. He is the One everyone is counting on; not me! I don't have to struggle under the weight of all the questions and desired outcomes. All I have to do is listen for His voice and trust what He tells me, and this tired little sheep will know exactly where to go to find comfort, renewal, and wisdom. Thank You for faithfully leading me, my Good Shepherd.

Father, thank You for giving me Jesus, the One who will never get me lost. Thank You for reminding me that I don't have to be in control. Show me today and every day that going with the flow is not all that hard, as long as I'm following the One who knows where we're going.

In His wise love,
Amy


copyright 2010, Amy Wallace