Don't Give Up On God!

Thanksgiving was a wonderful day for us. Although I had so much fun that I forgot to take pictures, there are some snapshots in my heart I'll never lose. There was the moment when my unbelieving aunt arrived and I had the pleasure of telling her that my ex-husband and his wife would be joining us. There was the moment when they arrived with their dogs, who bring such joy with their pure energy. There was the moment when we sat down to eat, and given the choice of who should pray, Olivia chose her daddy. What gratitude rose from that table as we lifted our hearts to the Father who has brought us together as a family!! But the thing that made the biggest impact on me was when God reminded me of a dark and lonely moment five years ago.

After Olivia's dad and I separated unexpectedly, Christmas was the first holiday he was in town for. I remember the day her grandma came to pick her up from our new apartment. My sorrow was so deep and so powerful that it seemed to even overtake the weather. The sky was dark and poured down rain. The air was bitterly cold and wet when I opened the front door.  After Olivia left, I sat and cried, staring out the window at the winter woods, everything brown and sparse and dead. One of my very worst fears had just come true. My daughter, my precious child, was entering the painful reality of a broken home. She had had Christmas with me. Now, she was going to celebrate it with her dad. This was never supposed to happen.

As I cried out to the Lord that day, broken and confused, my all consuming woe was that I didn't want my daughter to have to have separate holidays. I had experienced that division in my own home, having had to take sides as so many kids do in divorce. I didn't want that for her! At that time, the only possible solution I could see was for God to heal our marriage and put our family back together. But as I sat at the Thanksgiving table just two days ago, when God reminded me of my heart's desire from years ago, He showed me once again just how much higher His ways are than mine. (Isaiah 55:9)

When that marriage fell apart, I had no idea the plans God had for me. I had no idea that our marriage would become a sacrifice for the good of many. I never knew that souls would be saved. I didn't know that my forgiveness as an ex-wife would be much more powerful than anything I could ever have done as Rey's wife. How could I have known how I would grow to love his new wife as a friend and sister in Christ? No one ever could have imagined how God would take all the broken pieces and knit them back together into something so beautiful as a new family!

Because the process has been so gradual and slow, I had forgotten that moment from years ago. I had forgotten how I cried out to God for my child. But He reminded me, and look at what He's done!!! I am learning to live the truth of Psalms 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." When my relationship - and my estranged husband's relationship - with God became more important to me than our marriage, then God had the freedom to work His miracles in this family. Now Olivia has FOUR dedicated parents who all love to come together on the holidays. Truly, He is making all things new. (Revelation 21:5)

Don't give up on God! Whatever He's working on in your life, it will be more than you ever could ask for. My life is proof of that, and if He'll do it for me, He'll do it for you too! Don't limit Him by disobedience or unbelief. He can and He will give you the desires of your heart. It will be a wonderful gift, but it may be wrapped differently than you expect. Just look carefully so you don't miss it when it finally comes.

Father, thank You for Your faithfulness to me. Thank You that even when I forget what I've asked for, You never forget. Let Your grace overflow in this family You have made so that everyone who knows us will see Your limitless power and mercy.

In His mighty love,

Amy

copyright 2010, Amy Wallace