Consider it pure joy...

When my mom got in the accident that totaled her car a few weeks ago, I was sharing with a friend all the things I had to do that particular day to help my mom get things in order. I had to get her to the insurance agent's office, the garage where her car was being held, etc., etc. With great compassion but also her precious sense of humor, she smiled at me and asked incredulously, "Do you ever get to have a normal week??" I guess I hadn't really had the time to think about that, but when I did, I was discouraged at what I had to look back on. This entire year has consisted of one crisis after another.

In January, Chris, Olivia and I started the wonderful and sometimes difficult work of integrating lives. Then Olivia got sick a few times in February. Then she got that terrible flu in March. That's when they found the tumor in her arm. Between then and the time her tumor doubled in size, I missed quite a bit of work with back and neck injuries. Then came financial struggles. Then came the tests on her arm. Then the surgery. Then Mom's wreck. And now, I'm facing the possiblity of surgery on my own arm to release the compressed nerve in my elbow. Ouch.

These last few weeks have felt daunting and hopeless. Up until now, I suppose I just made it through all that craziness clinging to the hope that "this, too, shall pass," knowing that there would be an end to the crisis. But after seven months, the pattern is becoming clear. Once I begin to see a light at the end of one tunnel,  the darkness of the next tunnel approaches before I can even catch my breath. This requires a complete attitude adjustment. It's easier to deal with something when you can see the end of it. But how do you make it when there's no end in sight?

My tired heart is drawn back to Paul the Apostle and his steadfast declaration of hope in Philippians 4:11-13.   "Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."

I have not yet learned to be content in hardship. But I think the answer to finding that peace is in James 1:2-4. He instructs us to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I can only truly lack nothing by first being in need. The trials are unavoidable because they develop the perseverance necessary to make me mature and complete. Then I will lack nothing, because I will learn that God is all I really need.

So I guess  in the middle of constant craziness is right where God wants me at the moment. Go figure.

Father, thank You for Your perfect Word. Thank You for Your perfect patience. Help me to stop wishing for my adversity to end and start looking for you right in the middle of the storm. Thank You that I can always find You right where I am.

In His faithful love,

Amy

copyright 2010, Amy Wallace