It's Not Fair!!!

Yesterday, Olivia got in the car after school and handed me a limp little pink flower, informing me that she didn't "want that one." Intrigued, I asked her what  she meant by that . Apparently, one of the girls in her class had given another little girl a big, sparkly blue flower. Olivia really wanted that flower, but all she got was a humble little pink one picked from a bush in the school yard. My seven year old actually threw a fit over not getting that sparkly flower. Unbelievable!

Not only was it "not fair that Abigail got the blue sparkly one," but "everybody always gives Abigail more of everything!" There was apparently some hidden resentment over the fact that when her classmates share the goodies in their lunchboxes, Abigail always gets a bigger portion than everyone else, leaving only a few for Olivia. She's been watching her friend get all the M&M's for a while now. At first, I had no idea what to say to her. Envy has not been a big issue in our family. But when she wailed this next declaration through frustrated tears, God led the way.

"IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh, my. So that's where we are, I thought.

"Olivia, why don't you just ask me if you want some M&M's? Or a blue sparkly flower? You know I would be happy to give you those things," I asked.

To my surprise, the intensity of her fit increased exponentially. "How are you going to find a sparkly flower?!" she shouted through her tears. "That was the only one, and she gave it to Abigail!!!!!!!!"

Hmmmm.....by the time we got home she was too irate to even listen, so I sent her to her room to calm down. We're saving that conversation for breakfast this morning. But I found it terribly interesting that my offer to give her what she desired did nothing to soothe her. Now I know that it has nothing to do with the things she didn't get and everything to do with someone else being more popular. My daughter is jealous. I have never seen her so green.

What surprises me the most is that I thought she already knew that life is not fair. I mean, this kid has survived the pain of divorce, then flourished in the experience of  remarriage and come to love deeply both of her stepparents. She has seen God work mighty miracles in the most unfair situations. His is the only approval that really matters. After all, if God is for us, then who can be against us? (Romans 8:31) So why does it matter who gets the most M&M's?

Here's my point: taking our eyes off of Jesus to covet someone else's blessing or favor will only ruin our own faith. That's why God commanded us not to "set your heart on anything that is your neighbor's." (Exodus 20:17, Message)  If someone else gets the sparkly blue flower today, don't resent them. Rejoice in your little pink flower instead. It may look smaller, less fancy and a little droopy to you, but at least it's the real thing, crafted in the very hand of your Father, just because He loves you so. Remember when you set out to judge the value of your blessings that sparkle isn't what really matters. After all, the King of Kings arrived in a dirty stable, not a palace.

In His gracious love,

Amy

copyright 2010, Amy Wallace