Goodness and Mercy

Yesterday was not the best day. I woke up angry, which I hate. I was angry about a situation that never seems to change, no matter what I do to encourage that desired change. I felt helpless, hopeless, and mad. Waking up like that makes me want to pull the covers over my head and hide. But since I'm a grown up and a mama, other needs were more pressing than my feelings.

So I got up and did my thing. I got Olivia ready for the last day of school. It was kind of a sad day, since she'll be going to a different school next year, and she was dragging around, mopey and slow. This did not help my mood. But we got through it. We got in the car, buckled up and headed out. At the stop sign down the street, we stopped and waited for traffic so we could turn. And there it was....a giant rainbow in the sky, a silent remnant of last night's terrible thunderstorm. It was beautiful and bright, familiar colors smudged across the morning sky.

I have to tell you that God and I have this special thing about rainbows. He knows how much I love them, and sometimes, He'll throw one up in the sky, even if there's not a storm cloud anywhere in sight. I wonder when that happens if anyone sees it but me. One time, He gave me a rainbow cloud. No rain, no dark clouds, just a little lone white and fluffy cloud filled with the colors of a rainbow. That was when I was waiting in line at the bank, praying about the very situation that had me upset yesterday.

But I have to admit that yesterday was the first time a rainbow didn't just make my heart melt. My heart was too wounded, too defensive, and too angry to feel His love, even though I saw it right in front of me. I did thank Him as I turned left and continued down the road to Olivia's last day of school. She asked me to walk her in and help her pass out the little gifts we'd gotten her teachers, and I couldn't think of a reason to say no. What would I say? "No, I want to just go somewhere by myself and cry."

About halfway to school, I looked up as I was driving and saw it....ANOTHER rainbow! It was in a completely different spot in the sky. This time was different. Goodness and mercy were following me! (Psalm 23:6) This time my heart did melt. Suddenly, it could breathe again. It felt comforted. It felt His presence right beside me. I remembered His Word that instructs, "be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) Everything I needed was right there in the sky, and He didn't give up until I saw His faithfulness through my tears.

Thank You, Father, that You never give up on me. Thank You that even when I am worried and faithless, You are still faithful. (2Timothy 2:13) Thank You that goodness and mercy follow me wherever I go, even if it's to that lonely, dark place inside of myself.

In His unwavering love,
Amy


copyright 2011, Amy Wallace