Come into the Kitchen

It's been so long since I've been here to write, sitting in this chair in the precious quietness. I'm not sure why I've waited so long. After my surgery, I couldn't type for a while. But I've been using my arm for weeks now, and still, I didn't come. I missed it. I wanted to do it, but I didn't. This is my quiet time with God, so you can imagine how missing it has affected my whole life. And I knew that others were missing the messages God gave me for them too. I haven't even been carving time out of my days to pray. I wanted to, but...I didn't. I was hanging out with Him in quiet moments in the car. I was ministering to hurting people. But I wasn't being intentional about sitting down and giving Him all of my attention. Hmm.

So yesterday at church, God spoke to me about that. My Sunday school teacher closed her lesson with Jesus' words in Revelation 2:4: "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." She passionately shared with us how she had first encountered Christ as a child, how deeply and fiercely she had loved Him, and how she had gone from door to door in her neighborhood at five years old, telling everyone how very much this wonderful Jesus loved them. Then she asked us, "Do you remember how it felt to first meet Him? To first know Him?" I did remember. The tears on my face were proof.

The worship service was mind blowing, a little taste of heaven.  Because I remembered the wonder and the profound beauty of knowing Him, it was just like old times. He met me there, arms wide open, so happy that I was bringing my whole heart to Him again. I fell in love with Him all over again, body, mind and soul, but it was bittersweet, because I had lingering regrets over how I knew I had hurt Him with my "I'm too busy for You" days. With a tender heart, I listened to Pastor's beautiful message. He showed us many Scriptures where God urges us to come to Him. He showed us how God wants us to come into His presence and be close to Him. Pastor said, "God doesn't just open the door and ask you to come inside the house. He invites you to come and sit down in the kitchen!"

And I had a vision of God inviting me in out of the cold. He put His arm around my shoulder and led me to His kitchen. He sat me down at His table and gave me something hot to drink. Then He began to prepare a meal for me, and we talked as He worked.  Comforting aromas wafted out of the oven whenever He peeked in to check on the secret things He had baking in there. Pots simmered and bubbled on the stove as He seasoned and stirred the contents with perfect care. I shared my heart with Him, and He listened as He cooked. He shared His heart with me, and I forgot all about the cold storm that raged outside. What a sweet and comforting vision!

So imagine the deep place Pastor's words touched in me when he closed his sermon by telling us how God isn't mad at us when we miss our prayer times. He told us how his mother used to cook big, wonderful meals, and how, when he didn't make it home for one of them, she wasn't mad; she hated that he'd missed it for HIS sake. And he began to tell us about all the wonderful food she would cook....rice and gravy and banana pudding, and I don't even know what else, because I was weeping in my seat as everyone else laughed in delight.  I realized what I've been missing. My time alone with the King. Those intimate whispers and gentle touches that always turn everything around. The wisdom and hope He speaks into me that is comfort food and sustenance for my soul. I had literally been starving when the door to His kitchen had been open all the time, and He had just been waiting.

 Today and every day, I want to "taste and see that the LORD is good." (Psalm 34:8)

Father, thank You that Your mercies are new every morning. You knew that I would need them every day. Forgive me for my forgetfulness. Forgive me for my sleeping late when I could have been communing with You! Forgive me for all those who needed Your encouragement, and I failed to sit down in this chair and give it to them. But most of all, thank You that even when I fail, Your door is still open for me. Thank You that, even when I forget, You are still busy in Your kitchen, cooking up sweet and wonderful things for me, knowing that I will return. Even when I am faithless, You are still faithful, and I will bless Your holy name!!

In His welcoming love,
Amy


copyright 2010, Amy Wallace