Are we there yet?

Since the weather has been warmer, I've been walking in the mornings again. I can't believe how much I've missed the sunshine, the birds, and starting my day alone with God. As steadfast as I had become about my morning walks, my determination still wavered when it was 20 degrees outside. Now, I'm starting all over again with my physical endurance. Starting all over again isn't easy.

Now that I'm in my thirties, I don't see instant results with exercise like I used to. I was thinking about that fact as I walked the track yesterday. I was longing for my 20's, when I could simply drop the chocolate from my diet and see a few pounds come off. These days, I have to drop all unnecessary calories and add lots of extra exercise for a couple of weeks before I see any improvement at all in the way my favorite jeans fit. Talk about discouraging. But God used even my frustration to speak to me.

As I walked yesterday, I meditated on an upcoming transition in my life. There is an impending step into ministry somewhere in my future, and it's closer than it's ever been. I'm excited, I'm a little scared, and I'm very eager to begin. I want so much to live the vision God has given me,  but thus far, He has revealed very few details about how and exactly when He will take me there. He's only made it very clear that He will. I can't describe how difficult it has been for me to "be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act." (Psalm 37:7) I've been like a child on a road trip, incessantly asking, "Are we there yet?"

On my last lap yesterday, I stopped at the back of the track to admire the beautiful little patch of woods there. The trees were all standing tall, showing off their beautiful new green leaves to the sun, and just as I rounded the curve, a delicate breeze rose up. God whispered to me in that little breath of heaven as it swept its way gently through the foliage. Here's what He said.

"You've done this before, you know. And I know it's hard in the beginning to push through the physical work of it, knowing that you won't see results right away. But you know from your experience that if you just push through, change will happen."

I thought back to my first experience with walking, and I remembered that everything He said was true. Eventually, I even forgot about losing weight and just enjoyed my time with Him; the next thing I knew, five pounds were gone!

Then, with perfect love and deep compassion, He whispered, "For a short time, it will seem as though nothing is changing. But remember my faithfulness. Keep walking in faith. Know that change WILL happen."

I knew He wasn't talking about exercise at all.

You see, faith keeps walking, even when it feels like it's going nowhere. In Luke 17:14, ten lepers called out to Jesus for healing, and He told them,' "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And AS THEY WENT, they were cleansed. '(emphasis added) He didn't tell them to wait until their lesions were gone and then go show the priest.  He expected them to expect the miracle.  He asked them to walk in faith. Only then did their healing come.

 I need healing today. I need to learn how to rest in His presence and wait. I need my restlesness healed into peace. I need my haste healed into patience. I need my overwhelming desire for explanation healed into a pure faith that follows without question. I will cling to His promise and remember His faithfulness to me.  I will continue to walk toward the vision, even when I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. And as I walk, I trust that my healing will come.

Father, thank You for the quiet and unexpected ways You come to me. Thank You for meeting me right where I am. Thank You for Your compassion towards me. Help me understand more every day what it really means to walk in faith, and then grant me the courage to actually do it.

In His unwavering love,

Amy

copyright 2010, Amy Wallace