Home Sweet Home

Last week, I found myself at home one morning doing dishes. I only had one house to clean that day, so I wasn't in a hurry to get out the door, and I actually had time to clean my own house. As I stood at the sink, I realized what joy I found in caring for my own home when I wasn't rushing to go clean someone else's. Something in that quiet moment caused my heart to fall open before God.

"Lord," I prayed out loud, "I love being home. I want to be home and be Momma, Wife and Writer. This is where my heart is. Will You help me?"

I'd been afraid to say that out loud for so long. It's such a big dream. It will be such a huge transition. And it will require me stepping way out of my comfort zone to get there. What a precious moment to finally admit my deep desire to myself and to my Lord!

Just a few days later, Olivia came down with the flu, and I've been home every single day since, bringing down high fevers, slathering Vicks Vaporub, and giving medicine around the clock. That is not exactly what I had in mind!

His Word says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7) I know with certainty that this desire of mine comes straight from the heart of God. But He has also made it clear to me that "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:9)

I chuckled when I first noticed the timing of Olivia's illness in relation to my request to stay home. But now that we're finally turning a corner with the fevers, I'm seeing just how much higher His ways truly are. He put me right in the middle of this crisis to remind me what being home is all about. Is it a joy to be home and care for my home and my family? Absolutely! But God has reminded me that it's an awful lot of work and sacrifice too. I believe that He wanted me to walk toward this transition with my eyes wide open to the sacrificial love and work required. Has this experience changed my mind? No, but it's changed my attitude. I hear God calling his servant to a new and different kind of life. My answer? "Here am I. Send me!" (Isaiah 6:8)

Father, thank You for Your infinite wisdom. Thank You that Your ways are so much higher and so much better than mine. Help me to find Your wisdom and love in every difficult situation, and give me the courage to follow You wherever You choose to lead me.

In His amazing love,

Amy

Copyright 2010, Amy Wallace