Chris and I spent half of Sunday night in the emergency room. Not my favorite way to end the weekend, but not unfamiliar either. Here's how it usually goes. Amy comes down with some weird malady that seems to require some kind of medical attention. Even though we're not completely sure an emergency room visit is absolutely necessary, the possibility of it being a serious condition prompts us to go. There we sit in some ER being consistently ignored for hours on end once the doctor rules out everything he thinks could be serious. They finally announce either (a) "I have no idea what's wrong with you-follow up with your family doctor tomorrow." or (b) "It's all in your head. Follow up with your family doctor tomorrow." That's how it took ten years to finally get my gallbladder out, and believe me, it wasn't a pretty sight by then.
I hate this routine. No illness ever "presents typically" in me. Symptoms seem random until some doctor finally learns to think outside the box and finally solves the mystery. It's so frustrating, not to mention infuriating, to be diagnosed with panic attacks when my only major symptom is shortness of breath. There's no fearfulness, no racing heart, no sweating. I simply have episodes of not being able to catch my breath. It feels sort of like trying to breathe through a straw. Some of the other weird things that happened while I was actually in the ER but didn't fit into the pigeonhole diagnosis were blatanly ignored. So after about eight hours of this nonsense, I was sent home no better off than I left. Only now I was mad.
One of my only comforts about this experience was that now I have health insurance, so at least I didn't rack up another unpayable hospital bill like last time. But as I sit here now, I remember the woman with the issue of blood. She didn't have health insurance. This poor woman had been bleeding for twelve years. That's a long time. Besides just the inconvenience of a condition like that, in her culture she was considered 'unclean,' so I'm sure friends were few and far between. She had spent every penny she had on medical care, and instead of being cured, she was actually sicker than when she started. (Mark 9:43) I can relate to that!! I can totally sympathize with her frustration, her anger, and her desperation. Once she ran out of doctors and money, she probably lost all hope. But then she heard about this Jesus.
As we read in Mark 9:44, this woman "came from behind and touched the border of His garment. And immediately her flow of blood stopped." Can you just imagine?! The crowds were huge that day, and she had to really push through to get to Him. But she knew if she could just touch the hem of His garment she would be healed, even though all the doctors said otherwise. What she didn't expect was what happened next.
"Jesus said, 'Who touched Me?' When all denied it, Peter and those with him said, "Master, the multitudes throng and press You, and You say, 'Who touched Me?" But Jesus said, "Somebody touched Me, for I perceived power going out from Me." (vv 45-46) She thought she could just do this secretly; because she was an 'unclean' woman, no one ever gave her the time of day. And although she knew this Jesus could heal her, perhaps she assumed He would never willingly stop, especially in public, and even acknowledge her. But she was wrong.
"When the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling; and falling down before Him, she declared to Him in the presence of all the people the reason she had done what she had did. She thought she was in trouble. But then, the greatest surprise:
"Daughter, be of good cheer: your faith has made you well. Go in peace." (Mark 9:48)
The worst thing that had ever happened to her turned into not only a blessing for her and for those multitudes who were watching, but an opportunity for God to show the truth and power of who He is through the healing minsitry of Christ. If that woman had only been bleeding for a couple of months and Jesus healed her, everyone would always have wondered if it was only a coincidence. But 12 years? There's no arguing that. God used her worst ailment as a blessing and revelation for many.
When you or I are sick, whether in body or in spirit, we never know who's watching. As Christians, we are always being watched, usually because unbelievers want to see us fall. But imagine their surprise when God delivers us from the thing which has bound us for all those years (depression, physical illness, addiction, etc). In many cases, it's only after we've exhausted every other resource that God's power is truly acknowledged by the multitudes. After everyone else fails to cure us, God will save the day. I'll try to remember that the next time I'm headed to the emergency room......
Father, thank You that Your ways are so much higher than mine. Thank You that, although my experience may seem like a total waste of time to me, You know the value and the purpose in it. Help me to trust You at all times, even when people fail me and nothing makes sense.
In His perfect love,
Amy
copyright 2010, Amy Wallace
Comments
Post a Comment