Jesus IS All I Need!

When God found me, it felt as if time stood still. To say it was a dramatic moment would be a gross understatement. Looking back now, I can see that years of planting seeds, of placing people in my path to speak His love to me, years of His carefully arranging the broken pieces of my life came together in a moment and the reality of His love was finally revealed to eyes that were able to  see. When that happened, I was changed forever. I walked away from that moment genuinely new. It didn't take long for my first husband to notice. He didn't have eyes to see the love of God, and six months later, I was living as a single mother.

It was never difficult for me to trust God then. My faith was new and all the work He was doing was fresh and new enough that I was constantly reminded of His goodness and His willingness to be sovereign in my life. He did amazing things during the years I was single again. My daughter and I never went without the things we really needed. That was eight years ago. I love to tell that story.

In January when we lost our baby, time also seemed to stand still. Grief darkened my heart and, not even realizing it, I questioned everything I had believed about God. The pain of the moment was so deep, I couldn't remember His faithfulness to me. I forgot all the ways He had brought me through before and that He never changes. It was such a lonely time.

A few months ago, when I was still struggling , I knelt at the altar one Sunday morning and cried out to God. Like the desperate father in Mark, chapter 9, I cried,  "Help my unbelief, Lord!" I asked Him to help us to trust Him again. I needed to trust Him like I used to.

I wish I could tell you that something miraculous happened and my faith was instantaneously restored right there. But that's not exactly what happened. Instead, two weeks later, my husband lost his job. 

But you know, that's how God works. He uses the things of this world to teach us. Miracles do happen, don't misunderstand me. But more often than not, there is a journey from where we are to where we need to be. He has placed my family in a situation now where there's not much choice BUT to trust Him. Apparently, those are the situations where my faith thrives. It is impossible to please God without faith (Hebrews 11:6), but without need, there is no faith. In other words, if you don't know that you need something, how can you really trust Him to provide it for you? It's easy to say "Jesus is all I need" when there's plenty of money in the bank, you're in great health, and your kids are all perfect angels. But when the job is gone, your body is failing you, and your children are all in trouble, proclaiming that "Jesus is all I need" is an entirely different exercise. If faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1), then how can we have it if we see everything we hope for?

The great news, and what my heart is learning all over again, is that Jesus really IS all I need. When I need money to pay my bills, He is my provider. (Philippians 4:19) When I feel lonely, He is my friend. (Proverbs 18:24) When I am afraid, He comforts me. (Psalm 56:3) When I don't know what to do, He is my wisdom. (James 1:5) If I was never broke, lonely, afraid, or confused, I would never know that. So today, I will thank Him for all the things I struggle with. They teach me that Jesus really is all I will ever need.

Father, thank You that I can always trust You. Even when things don't go the way I would've liked, I trust that You will use those disappointments to draw me closer to You. When my faith falters, I will come to You and ask You to restore it, no matter what it takes. Surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.

In His perfect love,
Amy



copyright 2013, Amy Wallace